First of all I want to make a few things very clear. I am so fully grateful for what the Lord has blessed me with. I am so in love with my 3 boys and am in awe each day that they are mine. The second thing I want to make aware of is how fortunate I am that I have such an easy time getting pregnant. I dont take this for granted one second. It breaks my heart to know that there are women out there that struggle with their fertility while I sit here and get pregnant from my husband sneezing on me.
It wasn't always that way though. There was a time when we were told that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. After losing one baby due to an ectopic pregnancy which lead to a ruptured tube and major surgery and then another to a miscarriage I figured the Dr's were right. Then we had Aiden. After Aiden my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I will never forget when the Dr said, "do you have any children" we answered that we had a 10 month old son. He said to us, "I hope you are content with that because unless you bank your sperm chances are you will not be able to conceive again" (due to 6 months of chemo and radiation) We were devastated but accepted the fact that we would only have 1 beautiful son.
We have since had 2 boys since the Dr.'s told us we wouldn't be able to have any more. I say all this because if there are moms out there who are having problems getting pregnant I want you to know I understand your pain and your desire for a baby. There is nothing I can say but don't give up hope.
Now the real reason for my post. Notice the picture above? My heart and soul YEARN for a little girl. Seriously yearn. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about the idea of having a precious little daughter. I pray almost every single day that God blesses us with a daughter. I see moms and daughters and I just ache inside. People tell me, be thankful you don't have any girls. They are to emotional. To much drama.
I know. I don't mind. Its not even the cute little baby I want all dressed up in Tutus (which I will totally do IF God ever blessed me with one...oh yeah..BIG bows and all) I want to go prom dress shopping. Teach the importance of a first kiss. I want to help my little girl get ready for her wedding. Be with her when she becomes a mother. I want a best friend when she is an adult.
I have such a close relationship with my mom. Although it hasn't always been that way. I was really difficult when I was 14/15. But now, as a mother myself, we are so close. I can honestly say she is my best friend. The one person I can tell anything to who wont judge me and will always love me and support me.
I also want to see my husband have a little girl. I want to see a healthy father/daughter relationship. I think she would be the luckiest girl in the world to have him as her daddy.
I love my boys and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world and if the Lord never blessed us with a precious girl I would be content with that. Iam just praying now for my sons future wives. That they are amazing women and through them I can one day have my daughter. With all this said, yes I want to try for one more baby. Even if it were another boy I would want one more. If it happens to be a girl, Awesome. Amazing. Beautiful. If it happens to be a forth boy. Awesome. Amazing. Beautiful.
This is such a sweet post...a beautiful reflection of your heart. I pray that God gives you the desires of your heart. You're an awesome mom and if you never have a daughter, you'll have four boys who WILL have daughters, and won't that be fun for Grandma??!! ;-)
ReplyDeleteAw! Well I don't know how long you plan on waiting to try again but if you wait like 2 more years (I know I've said this before) we'll try to have girls together! There's all kind of wive's tale tricks we can try! And yes we know girls are drama but only for a handful of years. Girls love their moms when they're little and then again once they're out of the house. Can't wait to see you guys!
ReplyDelete2 years Christal??!!!! I would like to try next Jan. Greyson needs a brother or sister before 2 years! lol Yes, I plan on doing every single wives tale in the book and I am a huge believer that when you have sex during ovulation is what gender you have. (all 3 boys were the very last day)
ReplyDeleteDebran- Granddaughters will be amazing!!!
What a beautiful post. Let me give you a piece of hope that an older woman recently shared with me. If you only have your three boys and aren't blessed with the gift of a little girl you will be blessed with the gift of three daughter in laws who you will love as if they are your own. And odds are very good that at least one of your sons will bless you with a grandaughter who you will be able to spoil without abandon.
ReplyDeleteBTW thats Angela from Outback
ReplyDeletethanks Angela. You are so sweet! Do you have a blog? Thats what I put at the bottom of the blog, that if I dont have a girl, I pray the Lord brings amazing women in my boys lives. Oh and the granddaughters...I can just get so excited about it now!
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