Pure Selfishness

I don't know if you are like me but when it comes to Anniversary gifts I usually "hint" at something I want. Something that I normally would never buy for myself. This year the one thing I wanted (that was affordable) was a tanning membership. Yup, unlimited tanning for a month. I know I know, I live in Arizona just go lay out. Well for one it is tooo cold to lay out. Second I don't have the time to  lay out and third, I would never lay out with this pasty white body.

Not for our anniversary (which is in 2 weeks) but for Valentines day I was presented with not only one month but 2 months of tanning. It is conveniently located next to the gym which is amazing.

Ok, this is where it gets REALLY selfish and TOTALLY vain, but hey...its MY blog. I'm just being me. LOL

As soon as I walk into the salon I feel the heat of the beds and smell the aroma of lotion. Ahhhh, I am being taken back to another time in life. A time where my life was tanning, hair, nails and shopping. Wow. This seems like forever ago. In fact, the lady told me which bed to go in and I had to ask her how to use it. (it has been over 5 years since I've been in a tanning bed) she kinda giggled at me and lead me to the room and showed me what to do.

Because I was so white and it has been so long since I've tanned i was only able to go for 7 minutes. 7 perfect minutes. In fact, it was 7 minutes in Heaven!!! As I shut the top of the bed and closed my eyes the sound of the fan and the heat from the bulbs made me almost squeal out loud. Yes, it was that amazing. I was being completely SELFISH. I was doing something that I feel made me look better and in return would make me FEEL better about myself, my role as a mom, and my role as a wife *wink wink*(if you catch my drift)

Then........BAM!

Just as soon as the blissfulness of the moment came it left and GUILT fell in its place. How could I be so selfish and full of so much vanity? How could I spend the money on tanning and the gym when I have 3 boys at home? (and in case anyone is wondering about our finances, it would take me 2 hours at work to pay for the membership) I spent the remaining 6 min trying to justify my actions and you know what?

I DID!

Its ok that I'm taking some "me" time. I have spent almost 5 years being pregnant, popping babies out, changing diapers, and getting up in the middle of the night. So yes, for the next 2 months when the kids are all in bed...I will go be SELFISH and VAIN and go tanning and then go next door to the gym.

I told J.R. he better get a raise, cause I could get use to this!!

And Christine...here is a picture since you hate blogs without pics! Just for you. bahahahahaha